Damn You, Sirius!
by books4evah
Summary: James is resolved to make this night the perfect date. It his 77th date with Lily, and everyone knows what that means. The perfect night to propose. But what happens when Sirius shows up?


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

AN: This is compatible with Sirius Black's Notebook. Just to let you know.

**Damn You, Sirius!**

James was adjusting his tie. He wanted to look perfect for Lily. This was their 77th date. And he wanted it to be perfect.

According to a superstition of his mom's, the 77th date was the perfect time to propose. It was the luckiest, and insured a happy, wonderful marriage.

James' dad had proposed on the 77th date, as did all of the male relatives he could think of. And, his parents had a wonderful marriage. They did, unfortunately, die at the end of James' seventh year, at the hands of Lord Voldemort. As did countless other couples in his family who proposed on the 77th.

But, James was sure nothing along the lines of that would happen to him and Lily. They were the top two students in their year, and two fantastic aurors. Besides, James would rather die a very painful slow death than let Lily even suffer at the hands of a mass murderer.

But, we shall get that image out of our heads. This was supposed to be a happy night, and James wouldn't let anything stand in the way of that. There was always something, no matter how small, that interfered with their date. Once, Mad-eye had made them come to investigate a death eater attack in the middle of their dinner. That was the worst. Lily and James were both horrible injured, and Sirius had to cart them to St. Mungo's. But the injuries weren't the worst part (they had the same room together). Oh no. Sirius sang 'The Bitch is Back' the whole way there. When asked why, he simply said that it brought back good memories pf Hogwarts. Needless to say, both James and Lily winced at that. How Sirius got to be an auror, nobody knows.

There were other, simpler things too. Once, Sirius was coming with them, on a double date, and he accidentally let a bunny escape into the middle of the road, and chased after it all night, leaving James and Lily with Sirius' whiny date all night. Another time, they were eating dinner at James' place, and they suddenly found themselves in oyster suits, dancing a jig. Sirius, apparently, was doing some 'spring cleaning.' It was September. There was one time when they made it perfectly through a date, and Lily was coming home with James. They walked into James' bedroom, to find Sirius shagging the whiny girl. Scarred for life. Once Sirius had put n pants, James asked him what he was doing, shagging in James' house, when Sirius had a perfectly good apartment of his own. Sirius simply said, "Prongsie, man. I thought we already went over this. You have a better shag pad."

Have you noticed how everything relates back to Sirius?

Well, James had taken many precautions. He had padlocked Sirius in a steel box, chained that several times, and left him in Peter's house. Oh, he had also dropped the steel box in the lake behind Peter's house, and filled the lake with sharks, eels, stingrays, and grindylows.

So, just as he was about to leave the house to pick up Lily, when there was a loud crack.

James slowly turned on his heel, to find Sirius standing in his house.

"How the bloody hell did you get here, Sirius?!"

"Peter offered me cookies."

James cursed himself for not leaving Sirius with Remus. Remus was the smart one! But, then again, James had chosen Peter, because Remus didn't have a lake that he could throw Sirius' steel box in, along with sharks, eels, stingrays, and grindylows.

"Well, get out!"

"Aw… Prongs! I'm your friend!"

"Well, I'm going, I don't want you to ruin the house!"

"Oh, I know why. You're going to be bringing back Lily, aren't you?"

James blushed.

"Then why don't I come along?"

"NO!!"

"Alright, but you never seemed to care before."

James started grinding his teeth. "I did care before, and I definitely care now."

"Wait! You're a death eater, aren't you?!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!"

"You want to know what? I'm going to propose to Lily! That's why I care!"

"EH. MA. GAWD!! YOU'RE SNIVELLUS!! AND YOU'RE GOING UNDER COVER AS JAMES BECAUSE THE DARK LORD WANTS YOU TOO, AND YOU'RE GOING TO REAP THE BENEFITS BY PROPOSING TO LILY!! ARGH!! JUST WAIT TILL JAMES FINDS OUT!! HE WILL KILL YOU, AND RIP YOU APART LIMB FROM LIMB!!"

"I am James!"

"No you aren't, Snivellus!"

James finally cracked, and tied Sirius up, into a ball, shoved him into a closet, enchanted in some laser beams, shoved in a hippogriff, which hated Sirius, and took away Sirius's entire oyster supply, and ate one, leisurely, in front of Sirius.

"NOOOOO!! NOT BOB!! I WILL GET YOU, SNIVELLUS!!"

Well, on the positive side, Sirius wouldn't be going after James. Bob was Sirius' favorite oyster. His best friend, actually (after the marauders, of course, but sometimes James wasn't sure. It was definitely before Lily, as Sirius had insulted Lily once, and tried to set James up with Bob. Lily had slapped Sirius, and James cursed him into staying at Mungo's for a month or two. Those were the best two months of their lives).

Fifteen minutes later, James and Lily were eating a fancy Italian dinner, on a balcony at James' parent's place (before they had died), which James had inherited.

Lily was intrigued. "This place is beautiful. It must have been great growing up here."

"Oh yeah. Godric's Hollow's a very friendly place."

Soon they were discussing life back at Hogwarts.

"Remember the matchmaking thing that Sirius did in our seventh year?"

"Yeah, unfortunately. I was stuck with Candy. Worst moment of my life."

"I heard that Candy started up an "I Love James' store. Apparently, it's really popular, it branched out under a lot of names."

"Really? Like, who?"

"Well, Sirius, Remus, and for a sort while, there was a Frank."

"For a short while?"

"Well, Frank and Alice are married, right?"

"How could I forget, you looked ravishing in your maid of honor dress."

Lily blushed. "Well, Alice sued Candy for all she had, seeing as Alice said that she was the only one who could love Frank. I mean, they were married and all."

"Nice. But, you know, I'm still hurt that you didn't come to the matchmaking thing on your own accord. You said it was a dare."

Lily burst out laughing. "You remembered that?"

James gave her his best puppy dog out, and she relented. "You want to know why I came?"

James nodded eagerly.

"Well, they girls and I (meaning, Alice, Marlene, Mary, and Emmeline) were playing truth or dare the night before. I was picked on a lot. Emmeline asked me if I liked you. And I said that I might. After that, I got many dares. Mary, freaked me out a little, by asking me to steal your boxers. Alice dared me to kiss you by the end of the year, which I did, exactly how many times?"

"97."

"You counted? Well, then, Marlene dared me to go to the matchmaking thing. I agreed, but if you remembered, I told you it was a dare, so according to the rules, I had to go to the dance dateless. Evan Woods had already asked me, you see."

'What! I'm going to kill Woods!"

"James! We're together now, aren't we! And anyways, he then decided to got with Mary, and they're married now."

"Yeah, didn't they just have a kid?"

"Yep. He's currently two weeks old. I think his name is Oliver. It was either that, or Harry."

"Hm… Harry. I like that name."

"So do I."

"Remind me, if we ever have a son, to name him Harry."

"James! We aren't even married!"

"Are you sure?"

James knelt down, and pulled a box out of his pocket. "Lily Evans, would you do the honor of marrying me?"

Then, the most shocking thing happened. Lily slapped him.

"Whaa…"

But James never got to finish his sentence. Sirius jumped out from behind the curtains. "Don't do it Evans! It's Snivellus in disguise! Oh, wait," he amended, looking at the large red spot on James' cheek. "Never mind. I suppose you already found out."

James gaped. "How the bloody hell did you get here?"

"Let's just say that McGiver would be proud."

Lily glared at Sirius, "I don't think he's Snivellus. But there's one way to find out. James, what did I say to you, on the night of the Halloween dance?"

James grinned at the memory. "Well, you were wearing this gorgeous dress. Moony sadi you were Selene, the moon goddess. I was staring at you, and you walked over, put your finger under my chin, closed it, and whispered to me, 'It's rude to stare.' Then for that whole night, we danced together, and you said I might have a chance with you. Also, Sirius got really sugar high."

Sirius shouted, "That's more than what the question asked, Snivellus!"

Lily sighed. "If he can remember all that, he's James."

"Oh."

James turned back to Lily. "But why did you slap me?"

"Oops. I guess it was habit. This was the first time you've proposed tome since sixth year. I guess I'm still on that mode."

"Well, will you?"

"Don't be that thick!"

James looked down. He really wanted to marry Lily. So much for the 77th date being the best to propose on.

"Of course I will!"

James smirked madly, jumped up and yelled, "I'M GETTING MARRIED!!"

Sirius rushed over and hugged him. "I'm so happy! I can't believe you're finally getting married to Bob!"

A vein in Lily's temple pulsed. James scooted back, hoping that it wasn't for him, and not wanting to get in the way.

She finally burst. "DAMN YOU, SIRIUS!! I'm marrying James! Not Bob! For you're information, James is straight!"

Sirius looked puzzled. "No, Bob said he isn't! And Bob knows everything! He's the president of James' fan club!"

Lily took a plate, and whacked Sirius on the head with it. "I will show you that James is straight! And marrying me!"

She pulled James out, by the arm, and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him passionately on the mouth. James' arm wrapped protectively around her waist, pulling her up (hey, even though Lily was 5'8", James was still six or seven inches taller than her). They started in a full-out snogging session.

Unfortunately, for the two, Sirius was still there. He coughed loudly, and the two broke apart, looking sheepish.

"Okay, so James isn't gay. Now how do I know that _you_ are marrying him?"

Lily simply showed him her left hand, where there was a glittering diamond, cut to perfection (and fairly large).

"Oh. May I hold it?" Sirius asked like a two year old.

Lily looked like she'd rather eat a slimy toad. James whispered to her, "I don't think you want to hear, or see, one of his temper tantrums."

Lily, reluctantly, handed over her ring. Sirius shoved it on his middle finger.

After looking at it for a while, he decided to take it off. "Oops. Its stuck."

It was now James turn to get mad. He had spent a fair amount of money on that ring (though, with the inheritance form his parents, it didn't greatly matter). That was the perfect ring for Lily; he had even engraved a message to her on the inside! And Sirius was not going to stand in between Lily getting that ring.

James angrily pulled out his wand.

Sirius looked frightened. "I know how to magic it off!"

"Then do it!"

"On one condition!"

"What? You make a vow to make me best man and godfather."

Lily said, "Okay, I'll do it."

"An unbreakable vow."

The two knelt down, and Sirius went through the procedures. James felt a little uneasy. He was okay with himself doing it, because he knew it would be easy to follow. But Lily. He didn't want Lily to have even the slightest chance of death.

But, it was soon over, and Sirius still wouldn't hand over the ring.

Lily was even angrier. "Sirius. I swear. I don't care if I die. If you don't hand over the ring, I will never do what I just agreed to do."

James did not like the sound of that, so he interrupted. "Look, Sirius! If you don't hand over the ring, I will personally rip all of your oyster suits to shreds and eat your whole oyster collection."

"NOOOOO!! Fine. Have it your way." Sirius handed over the ring, and stomped over to the corner to sulk.

James called to Sirius. "Did you like Wormy's cookies?"

"Yes," was the sulky reply.

"Well, if you stay at his house tonight, then Wormtail will bake you as many cookies as you want."

"Ooh! I'm going!" There was a loud crack.

James turned to Lily, who had her eyebrow raised.

"What? Anything to get rid of Sirius!"

Lily laughed. "I still can't believe I'm getting married!"

"I can, and I'm loving every second of it. I love you, Lily."

"I love you too, James."

James felt ecstatic. "So, why did you stay with me, even after dealing with Sirius?"

"Well, I figured you two cam in a package. I can't get one without the other. And, I'm willing to put up with Sirius for you."

James grinned.

"Anyways, I kind of like the insaneness."

"Really?"

"Really."

And when Lily leaned over to snog him again, this time there was no insane immature Sirius to stop them.

But how did Sirius become so mature, you may ask.

Well, that's a whole different story. But, let's say it involves a Sirius who almost decapitates Harry, an extremely angry Lily, a one of her most powerful charms, and James' shout of "DAMN YOU, SIRIUS!"

AN: Hope you liked it! Anyway, I want to know, who would you want to read a romance about more, James Potter (Jr.) or Albus Potter?


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